Facebook and Other Sites vs. Alumni

May 20, 2009. (I) begrudgingly attended my 25th high school reunion recently. I really did not want to go. A couple friends bugged me so I went. I really only keep in touch with one or two friends from high school. The rest, from the small New England prep school my parents sent me to, are scattered all over the globe. I hadn't heard from many for years and years, until I got a Facebook account. People who I had not seen or spoken to since high school or college were popping up. I was getting multiple "adds" daily. I felt so popular. We were exchanging old stories, pictures and memories, all from the confines of my desk or Iphone.

It was interesting to see what everyone looked like. The men were mostly balding and some hadn't aged well. The women often had 6 kids in their laps. (I'm embellishing friends!) It was a lot of information and I went thru it all. To this day, after having Facebook for about 6 months, I have re-connected with dozens of friends, acquaintances and reluctantly with people who I "just went to the same school with." Let's call them the "Others." Damn Lost!

When I graduated from high school and college, the only means of connecting or keeping in touch was by exchanging phone numbers. Mind you, this was a home phone number - there were no cell phones in 1988 that I ever saw. Though my father had a huge contraption in his big Lincoln that looked like a C.B. radio. After graduation, my friends moved around a lot and went to different schools. We lost touch. There was really no way to find anyone unless you called their parents and bothered them. Work and graduate school were taking up my time. We didn't have email accounts or accounts with any of the social media sites. Looking back now, how primitive a thought! It suddenly seems so obvious to me to put the technological timeline in perspective with my anti-social behaviour. Now, I have an excuse.

About two decades would pass until Facebook, Linked-In, Myspace and others changed all that. I suspect that when today's graduates move on, they carry with them the same email accounts, the same Facebook accounts and likely the same cell phones. They don't need to reconnect. They never lose touch. My peers ALL lost touch and reconnected after two decades of living in a vacuum. Granted, it seems we may be at the upper end of the Facebook age bracket, but the site serves a useful purpose to make up for lost time.

I would guess gung ho alumni offices must be squirming. I'm curious as to what percentages go to reunion weekends anymore. Out of my class of 99, I heard about 25 showed up. It causes me pause in considering why fly to Gettysburg to see old friends when I can see them and reconnect at home? I agree that its interesting to see the old campus and hang out with friends, but the AURA of mystery when you show up at the reunion is gone. Gone is the shock of confronting the school bully, the hot cheerleader or the geek squad. The only confrontation I expect is "Hey, why don't you have a Facebook account?"

Take a Breathalyzer ? It depends...can you afford not to?

May 13, 2009. If someone knows I am a criminal lawyer, invariably I'm asked. Most likely, its at a bar (ironic I know) or a restaurant -- often with a beer in hand (even more so). "Hey, you're a lawyer.... should I take the breathalyzer if I get pulled over?" My usual retort is just as brazen "Hey buddy, you get what you pay for..." Besides, I don't usually have enough time to go over all the variables and contingencies that go into giving a proper answer. I want to finish my beer! The answer really does require a well thought out review of the facts of each case or circumstance, but there are certainly some guidelines the public should consider before they subject themselves to such a test. Besides, no matter what I or anyone else says, the likelihood of you remembering what I write here at 3:00 a.m. after you have been pulled over by the state police....is virtually Nil. 

Consider that the breathalyzer is a machine, you plug it in, turn it on and let it warm up. Machines are fallible and also subject to human operator error. Breathalyzers machines are designed to use infrared technology to detect the level/presence of alcohol in a subject's breath and convert the results into a reading. (that's as technical as I get) They are the only acceptable method of introducing alcohol into evidence (in Massachusetts) via a breath sample. For the record there is no brand "Breathalyzer." There are several manufacturers of these machines. So, I digress, do you actually think someone/anyone who has consumed enough alcohol is clear-minded enough to make a well thought out decision to pass/take the "BT?"  I don't. 

In Massachusetts, there are increasingly harsh license suspension consequences if one refuses to take a BT test (the person has been accused of a DWI/DUI.) If its their "first" refusal (yes there are people who have had several refusals -- just ask my client who has 4) the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles will take their driver's license for 180 days.  That's pretty much a deal breaker for most people. Lose your license, lose your job, your source of income....you do the math. Sounds odd, but its often an economic decision if you really think about it. Its hard to justify unless you live near where you work or if you have enough money to pay a driver (like Lyndsey Lohan...wait she just kept driving. ) Six months (the minimum) is a long time not to drive. 

Consider that if one were to "blow" over a .08 in Massachusetts (and now in most states) there is a presumption of intoxication.  If one is intoxicated while driving, well ... let's say you are screwed. With that presumption, the burden then shifts to the defendant to attack the validity of the failed test result.  As a defense attorney the focal point of defending the drunk driving suspect has to be to attack the validity of the breath test by seeking to exclude its admission into evidence. If the prosecutor can't get it into evidence at trial, obviously their case is weaker. Its kind of like pulling the rug out from under the prosecutor's case.  How do you do it? I can't tell..if I did you wouldn't hire me! Actually, there are very detailed and specific regulations concerning the administration of the "BT" test...i.e., observing a suspect for a minimum of 15 minutes prior to the test (no burping allowed!). It is quite possible the breath test operator may have done something wrong. 

If someone takes a breath test and fails, they have an uphill battle in successfully defending their case in court. By no means is it the kiss of death, however, it does make things much more complicated (and expensive.) If someone passes (don't see it but it happens), my job is pretty easy. If the accused refuses, the evidence of intoxication (in court) is restricted to the police officer's observations and opinion of intoxication.  It's the one crime that a police officer can testify that s/he "thinks you did it."  That's quite a powerful statement. Can you imagine if during a murder trial, a witness testified "I wasn't there, but by the looks of that guy....I think he shot the victim."  

Most attorney's who practice in this area take the position that no on should ever take the test. I suspect this is grounded in the general feeling that a false reading may occur due to a suspect's ingestion of something which may trigger a high BAT result (consider there is alcohol in mouthwash, cough syrup, etc.) I agree, but its not that simple a decision. 

Hey don't drink and drive and no hate mail from MADD please! 

Ashley Madison.com ... Good for Business?

February 13, 2009. So, it's nearly Valentines Day. The roadsides are strewn with vendors pawning flowers that may or not live the weekend. Couple are planning the most expensive meal out of the year. Hallmark is trying to get me to buy a $ 5.00 dollar greeting card that plays 80's music or Homer Simpson burping. Its such a romantic time of the year. Not too long ago, I remember hearing stories from my parents about how they met. I think my father first saw my mother in church one day. My grandfather, so the rumor goes, met my grandmother at a coming out dance (I embellish, sorry Nana) .

Today, we have become accustomed to hearing stories of our friends trying out online dating sites like match.com. Another site, eharmony, plasters television ads enticing us with a "free compatibility test" (I checked, no one is compatible with me). One friend of mine even met his wife on a Jewish singles dating site. Whatever you may think of it, good or bad, Internet dating is here to stay. We are busy. We don't have time to say hi to the cute girl we see across the room anymore. Instead, we go to craigslist and checked "missed connections" every night (again, no luck here).

I don't think anyone would have guessed what was coming next. I guess there was a gray area between these dating sites and a swingers/porn type site. I never noticed. But someone else sure did. Ashleymadison.com touts itself as a "dating' site where married or attached people can have an affair." That's right, cheating just became mainstream! Just set up a profile and pay with your credit card (they will anonymously bill you in case your significant other looks at your credit card statement!). Set up a profile and start searching away. Refine your search by location, age, height, weight or body type. Its a veritable grocery store for the straying hearts. Of note is an "affair guarantee." If you sign up for the $ 249.00 plan, they guarantee you an affair. What I figured out is that they have a reserve of troll like men and women lined up to ensure they never have to make good on this guarantee. At the last possible moment, expect an offer of an affair by Trina the cross dressing, toothless "guarantee buster!"

In all seriousness, as a divorce lawyer I can see the writing on the wall. Some hapless sap is going to leave himself (or herself) logged into the site and get caught! Subpoena's will be flying into the Ashleymadison corporate offices faster than a new season of "Survivor" (will they ever get back to the island?" I really do believe that its just a matter of time before this site breaks up a marriage, a couple, a relationship, a family. But hey, it takes the willing and no one is forcing people to join or participate. Some may say to blame the members. While this is true, the temptation to surf in relative anonymity may be too much for some. This is what the site hopes for.

Curiously, the most confusing thing I came across on their site was the following: When asked if the site encourages infidelity, their answer: "No, Ashleymadison does not encourage anyone to stray. In fact, if you are having difficulty with your relationship, you should seek counseling." I had to find an authority on infidelity so I looked to the folks at cheaters.com. (that's their trademarked logo above) According to their informational site, the definition of "infidelity" is clarified:

"While adultery is more concretely defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man or woman with someone other than his or her spouse, experts disagree on precisely what infidelity entails. There is, however, a growing consensus that infidelity is not limited to sexual unfaithfulness, but that it also occurs when a spouse forms a strong emotional attachment outside of marriage."

Of course, that's exactly what AM.com strives for, the EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT. Following up on their disclaimer, I looked and looked but to my dismay I could not for the life of me find a link to any couples' counseling websites on AM.com. I have a great idea for the people at AM. How about a link to my website? I do plenty of divorces and accept referrals. This may work out better than I thought.

~ Jay Roncone

What Do Kellogg's, Michael Phelps and Marijuana Activists Have in Common ?

February 11, 2009. Michael Phelps, America's most decorated Olympic athlete, recently was the subject of tabloid fodder when a picture of him allegedly using a "bong" surfaced on the Internet. Yup that's him! Leave it to the British to uncover the photo. I've read reports indicating that the pictures were from an incident that happened before the Olympics. (I for one would have focused on his watch!) His Olympic achievements aside, Phelps faces scrutiny from his fans, the public and especially his commercial sponsors.

Phelps' agents have confirmed that he has deals with a number of big corporations including Speedo (surprise), Hilton, Visa, Omega Watches, and AT&T, to name a few. His agents have refused to release the value of the endorsement deals but suffice it to say Phelps won't have to work anytime soon. I'm sure he and his family for generations to come will be set financially. (I sure hope he buys his mom a house, I grew fond of her cheering him on in the stands).

Now Kellogg's has announced they will let their current endorsement deal with Phelps expire. He was also suspended from competition by the US swim team. This has prompted marijuana activists groups to start calling for us to boycott Kellogg's products. (There has been no mention of them boycotting swimming - I assume because even marijuana users like to swim) Petitions are circulating and the publicity machine for both camps are in full swing. I thought it was interesting that Kellogg's was apparently aware of Phelps' prior drunk driving charge and didn't make an issue of that. Phelps hasn't been charged with anything yet and given the carefully crafted wording of his public apology for some regrettable decisions he has made, his lawyers likely considered that possibility well before he responded to the media inquiries. Just today, Phelps no-showed for IBM as the keynote speaker (I guess he's in demand) at a tech conference. Magic Johnson batted back up.

Consider that Massachusetts, like a growing number of other states, has joined the growing trend of de-criminalizing the possession of small amounts of marijuana. That doesn't technically mean smoking pot is now legal. Its just now treated as a civil infraction along with a fine.

Could Phelps be charged? Sure, he could be charged if that jurisdiction isn't as liberal as Massachusetts. Consider, however, how would they prove what he was doing was illegal unless he admitted to it? I've seen plenty of bongs and hookah's in bars where people smoke tobacco. The obvious aside, its clearly a matter of proof as to whether some gung-ho District Attorney could successfully prosecute such a case. All criminal cases have burdens of proof. They usually involve observations of an officer. In successful drug prosecutions, evidence usually includes an officer's testimony of identifying the odor of marijuana and a lab analysis confirming that the seized substance is, in fact, an illegal drug.

I sincerely doubt any evidence of this 'crime" still exists. Although Roger Clemens' trainer kept the "needles" he allegedly used for several years (That is just weird). I hope that Phelps's advisers counseled him to keep his mouth shut. In my opinion, the kid is 23 years old. He has been training since he was in the womb. I'm sure he has had little time to grow up. Cut him some slack. I'd rather see some footage of some of these bailout (Wall Street bankers) caught on tape smoking something funny. Then we could all save some taxpayers' money but cutting off their funding. Should he be without consequence? NO, he was suspended. He likes to swim. I am sure he is not happy about the suspension. If he wants to keep swimming, then test him and be done with it.

New Child Support Guidelines in Effect !

February 10, 2009 - As of January 2009, Massachusetts Probate Court Judges are using an entirely new formula in calculating child support obligations. The "old" guidelines were completely modified. The new changes are not minor. They are dramatic. The new 2009 Child Support Guidelines consider the joint gross income of both parents, the number of children, daycare costs as well as the costs of insurance. The costs of health, dental and even vision care can now affect the support order. These guidelines expand the definition of "income" especially in situations of a self employed "obligor" and address the "gray" area of overtime compensation and the support obligation. Gone is the obligor's income cap of $ 120,000.00. These new guidelines apply in all cases where the combined gross incomes of the parties does not exceed $ 250,000.00. This should apply to most families and eliminates the discretionary element of an order in most cases. I have had a number of clients indicate that the orders are generally "higher" than the old orders. Its probably a good idea to contact an attorney familiar with probate practice and run the numbers to see if filing a Modification is warranted. There are several criteria to consider. Income is not the only determining factor as to whether a support order can be modified.

I suspect it may take many months to sort thru the effects of the new guidelines. Gray areas will likely cause litigation and appellate judges will clarify.

** Since people have been asking, Here is a link to the new guidelines.

http://www.mass.gov/courts/childsupport/worksheet-child-support-guidelines.pdf

Amazon Releases Kindle 2 Today

February 10, 2009 - I have been resisting buying a digital reading device ever since the first Kindle came out a couple of years ago. I like to read, however, i couldn't imagine reading my newspapers, magazines and bestsellers on a small hand held screen. I likened it to an affinity of the smell and feel of paper, the ink on my fingers and the bulk and size of the book. Besides, I could get electronic versions of everything I want to read on my laptop or even my iphone. I suppose when Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, decided to embark on a new venture involving selling technology Amazon actually produced, the tide was turning. I suspect that the Kindle was intended to be the answer to the question no one asked. What can I fit in my hand, is comfortable to hold, has huge storage and is lighter and smaller than a laptop? According to their marketing materials, the new Kindle 2 can wirelessly download over 230,000 books! That's mind boggling. There are no fees associated with the downloads nor are there wires to connect. It is all done wirelessly over Sprint's cell network. There are tons of magazines, newspapers and blogs you can also wirelessly subscribe to. To my surprise, there are pictures too, albeit black and white only.

The new Kindle 2 is priced at $ 359.00. That's a hefty chunk of change considering its just for the hardware. So the next question is what is the price of the content? Well, books list at anywhere from $ 4.00 and up. I saw most titles around the $ 10.00 range. I priced the Twilight Book 1
(I swear i have not read it!) at $ 6.04. The print version of the same book costs $ 11.99 in hardcover and the same $ 6.04 in paperback. Note, that this was one of the lesser priced Kindle 2 books. Most were a little higher.

Given the economy, I suspect that people may be reticient to pony up for this new device. After all, one can download books to their laptops or computers, ipods and even listen to books in their car. Also, isn't there some appeal to showing off your bound library to company? I now the tacky titles some of us collect may not be the most impressive. I admit to having such bound classics as "The Pick Up Artist" and "The Hardy Boys." But these hardcovers often instill a level of accomplishment to perusers of the bookshelf. "I read them all" usually impresses an admirer until they ask for a plot summary. I don't see that same level of accomplishment or "affect" when powering up the Kindle 2 and scrolling thru the dozens of titles . Its not as much of a part of your "appearance" as it is a part of you. Introverts may prefer it, but I think some will never leave the comfort and familiarity of the smell of paper.

I have not been able to test drive the new Kindle 2 yet. its not shipping until the end of the month. Considering the first Kindle sold out in 5.5 hours in 2007, I admit that I ponied up and reserved my place in line by ordering one today. I will update this posting after I am able to get a hands on with the device.